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Wellness Writing by Brenna

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Legacy Alignment Check: Part II Journal Exercise for Self-Exploration and Growth

1/29/2016

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Adjusting Our Habits
To Bring Forth Our Values

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In order to manifest our most heartfelt desires we have to think about our daily actions.  Recently, I presented a journal exercise, that I also tried, to illuminate some essential components to help bring out a higher self.  The exercise was intended to help you (and myself) to discover what our key values are; what we hope will be our great legacy after we die; what daily actions we feel are important; what brings us the most joy, and what we hope to see transpire in our lives if we are living in true alignment with our most heartfelt desires.

Now, I pose for you to explore what is the one thing most out of alignment from what you are trying to create in your life? This can be discovered by posing yourself this question: “what specific action, behavior, or habit do you feel you should improve the most?”

For example, perhaps you feel like parenthood is a core value of yours, but nothing in your life really gives much focus or attention on that theme. You could also want to eat better, but you have not taken the steps to buy whole foods, to food prep, or seek out a nutritionist or coach.  When we deviate from what we are really trying to create in our lives it takes away joy, and it lessens our chances for being remembered for how we envision. If we do not work toward creating new habits for ourselves than we cannot leave behind the legacy that we so desire; rather, we continue on a legacy from our past that may be harmful.


Look back over the part one exercise. Look at what you wrote. Do you notice anything that sticks out to you? Anything that seems out of alignment?

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 For me, I recognized that I need to work on communication if I am to create the type of family that I want. I need to work on my communication skills if I am to leave the type of legacy that I desire professionally and personally. 

I want to be remembered for my eloquence, but sometimes my words are not received how I intended them to be understood.  I sometimes expect people to naturally understand what is inside of my mind, or behind my words, because I have been so open with them (and generally I open up very quickly).  Sometimes I am too late to respond, especially when I have been hurt. Other times, I am too reactionary and lose my temper.

In the instances where I have been offended, it takes me a few days to respond back.  Instead of communicating in the moment with “I feel” responses, I retreat back in fear and become resentful. I do this because this is what I did growing up.  When I resort to other bad habits from how I was raised, like yelling, unnecessary passion, or aggressive language I am not being the communicator that I want to be and it ends up hurting me as much as it hurts the other person.  Sense I was raised with volatile people, I sometimes resort to those old habits.  I usually do this when I become frightened.  Again, fear causes communication to come out poorly in most situations. It is behaviors like these that go against my best judgment and my most heartfelt desires.

These flaws reduce my desire to be approachable. This informs me that I need to work on my mannerisms.  Now I cannot change how my face looks serious when I am thinking intensely or feeling stressed, but I can work on being more mindful. I can work on being less stressed, anxious, worried, afraid, or overwhelmed.
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How I communicate is critically important to me.  It is important in my job, my relationships, and most importantly in how I want to be as a future mother.  I do not want my child to be afraid of self-expression like I was; nor, do I want my child to do as I had done: holding in all my feelings and frustrations until one day there is an outward verbal and emotional eruption.
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I also want to be able to be with a person who can understand where I am coming from and recognize that communication takes hard work and dedication. I also want that person to understand that communication is a two way street and that both parties are responsible for their behavior and words.  I want to know that the people I bring into my life will work with me if I were to ever raise my voice and get upset because they understand my past. I do not want them to excuse me for my behavior, but I want them to love me enough to work with me and to help me grow. I want to be surrounded by people who also want to improve how they communicate.

By working primarily on my communication this year, I can create new habits.  By creating my new habits, I can morph into a person who can communicate in a way that has integrity. I want to pass along knowledge and wisdom. I do not want to pass along my suffering, trauma, or pain. 

We can pass along our family’s lineage by how we communicate.  I do not want to pass along so much trauma. I owe it to myself, my loved ones, and my future child to change how I communicate-especially during times of stress, confusion, fear, or sorrow.  

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Now based off what needs to be adjusted in your life, think of 3 specific actions that can be done to be more in alignment toward being that most ideal self.

For me to be a better communicator I need to:
  • Slow down and ask more questions before I respond.
  • Express my feelings about a comment made to me, so I can process my emotions first before I walk into reactionary behavior.
  • Check-in with my body language and facial expressions all day, especially when my moods shift. Asking myself “Would a child feel safe being in my presence or would a child want to talk to me? Am I making myself available to others for help or support?”
Now think of what you want to change and why based on a timeline.  Tell yourself that it is critical that you take these actions and step serious because if you do not your future could be different from what you are trying to manifest.

For example, it is critical that I take these actions and steps because if I do not this will happen in my life:
  1. In five years, I will still be single and I will be struggling with personal and professional relationships because I cannot find balance with how I communicate and how I allow others to communicate with me.
  2. In ten years, I will have lost the chance for motherhood, be single or in up and down relationships because communication is poor. I will be detached and bitter because I do not trust others.
  3. In twenty years, I will be isolated.
Now, those responses are dramatic for a reason. They are meant to wake you up! This exercise is meant to shake you up and get you focused on how you can take action now and daily, so that you can be that legacy you so desire. You can heal the past and create a new future. You can manifest your most ideal life by changing your habits and honoring your values.

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A Higher Self

1/24/2016

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An Exercise to Explore Your
Pure Alignment
Day One

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How are your new year's resolutions coming along? Are you feeling that your are living in alignment with your most heartfelt desires? Are you being true to what you want for your most ideal life? What comes up for you when you reflect upon your manifestation collage? Is there any work that needs to be done NOW to be really living the life you desire? If you were to perish today what would be on your report card? Would you be an A, B, or C student?  In this article, I have put together an exercise for you to try out to see if you are living in alignment toward your highest self. 

This is the first of three exercises to see if your are living in alignment toward your most authentic, true life. I am hoping that after completing each exercise you find inspiration. Whether your results are sub par or reaffirming, you will walk away knowing where you are on your life's road map. There is to be no judgement in how you answer questions. All the information you supply yourself with is simply meant to help you live with more happiness.

I decided to put this exercise together because lately I have not been totally sure if my life is flowing in the direction that is most true to my own heartfelt desires.  Sometimes, just like you, I feel like I'm lying to myself. I know that I am learning daily from my actions, choices, and thoughts, but is that enough? Unfortunately, how we respond with each lesson in life does not always have immediate feedback.  Our report card in life often does not come out until after we have passed away. 

In my recent collage, I stated that I want to create a family in my life and become a mother.  Yet, how can I become a mom if I am not married? In my eyes, I need to be married to have a child. For others, that is not necessary, but for me it is a non-negotiable. Do you have non-negotiables?  The main focus of my collage is family. If that is true then why do I live so far away from my family?  All of these honest reflections made me realize that I should get more myopic in my self-discovery. That is why I took it upon myself to grade my current NOW life. My collage shows what I am striving for, but if I were to die today would my life be remembered as a genuine life?

What I discovered was YES! I found out that even though my life is not perfect, it is in alignment with what I am trying to be remembered for in life. True, I do not have a house, a husband, or children. Yet, I am still in alignment with how I want to be remembered.  If I were to die right now, I would leave behind a beautiful legacy because I have overcome so many obstacles: divorce, abuse, adultery, depletion of savings, being fired, and more. It has been my losses that have offered me gifts, too. I do not stand alone in the face of obstacles. We all have overcome so much. 

Despite all my hardships, I have chosen to stay in alignment with not giving up on love or myself. I have taken daily actions to be healthy by exercising, playing sports, and eating right.  I have taken lots of risks to live with more freedom. For example, I let a house and financial security go to be happier. I escaped abusive relationships. I did these things so I can serve as an example. I have been able to offer love, knowledge, wisdom, and safety to children who have been victims of pain through my work as a school teacher in a disadvantage community. 

Today, I am able to freely express my heart openly and without hesitation.  I dream big and work hard toward those dreams.  I don't have a lot of things, but my life is rich with experiences. If I died today people would see me as a person who fully lived. How would people see you? Try the exercise below and see how your report card turns out. 

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Part One- Personal Values

Complete these 5 steps.

1. What are the five personal values I believe are the most important to my life?

2. When my life has ended, I want to be remembered for these things:
  • In my work/job/career
  • In my family/relationships
  • In my approach to life

3. For each category above, list 3 activities, actions or habits you feel are the most important in relation to being remembered as you hope.

4. Now, list 5 specific hobbies, activities, or habits in life that bring you the most joy.

5. For everything you answered above, give yourself an honest grade based on this rubric.



RUBRIC​
  • You receive an A if you are living in complete alignment and you are PROUD and at PEACE with your actions, decisions, and thoughts.
  • You receive a B if you are living in partial alignment and would like to see improvement in your actions, decisions, and thought patterns.
  • You receive a C if your are not living in alignment with your personal road map.  You find yourself frustrated with your actions, decisions, and thoughts.  You might be feeling desperate, but are open to help and guidance.
  • You receive a D if you are living completely out of alignment.  You feel like you are in a rut and completely stuck. You doubt you can change and recognize it is imperative that you get help if you want to be truly happy and remembered for living pure.

As a reminder, this exercise was meant to be done without judgement.  The exercise is meant to provide you with immediate feedback as to how authentic you are living. Hopefully, the exercise provides clear, objective answers so that you can act accordingly in your life. We all want to be happy in life and it is my hope that this exercise provides you with more happiness or guides in the direction toward greater happiness. It is exercises like these that help us to create lasting change for our life and the lives we touch. If you are needing guidance or help in developing a more authentic life please reach out. Together we can create a life full of radical, pure alignment, so that you can be living out your highest self. 
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Manifesting Your Most Heartfelt Desires

1/15/2016

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Since 2009, I have had the practice of creating manifestation collages as a way to help me create my most ideal life. Each year, I take time to reflect on my life and check-in to see if I am living true to my heart.  Before I make the collage I do exercises to help me get centered and to inspire creativity. Each year my exercises are slightly different, but they all help me to make my collage and to focus on my life's direction.
 
This year I was inspired by a meditation exercise from the Yoga Journal. The meditation practice focused on checking in with your most heartfelt desire(s). After I completed the meditation, I realized what is most important to me is creating more family in my life since I often feel isolated as a single woman in California. I also realized that I really want to be a mother, and I want to attract a relationship that will move me in that direction.  Looking back at my collages from previous years, I have noticed little desires reappear year after year. For example, being fit, healthy and strong reappear each year. This year, my desire to be fit and healthy is less about me and more about what is yet to be in my life. It is my intention to be fit and healthy, so that I can be an amazing mother someday who is active and youthful. 

Last year, my focus was on winning trophies as a figure athlete and I ended up winning trophies in two competitions. Amazing right? This year, however, I want a trophy to be a baby or at least the opportunity to care for a child in a paternal way. The creation of these collages, and the exercise that go with them, absolutely help to create your most ideal life. I hope my anecdote is proof that this exercise works (click to watch a video on how these collages really work) .
 
Below is a suggested exercise for you to practice prior to making your collage. I hope this exercise serves you well and moves you into the direct that is most heart centered and alive.
 
Namaste.

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Steps for creating a Manifestation Collage
 
First, create a time to be alone. Your time alone will allow you to deeply connect with your heart. You can choose to be in your car, the shower, meditating, or on a walk. Just give yourself permission to create solitary space.
 
Once you have that space, let yourself be quiet. Let yourself hear and feel your breath. Notice what comes up for you when you meditate upon the question: “What is my most heartfelt desire?”
 
As you breathe and meditate on this question what major images come to mind? What sounds rush to your ears? What shows up in your heart? Perhaps there is a theme or series of things, or maybe it is one single concept or desire. Whatever comes up for you, hold on to those images and ideas.

Then, answer the following questions, either aloud or through journaling:


  1. What do I want to experience this year and how will I make that happen?
  2. What role do I play in the most important relationships in my life? What do I look like, act like, sound like, and feel like within these relationships?
  3. How do I see my actions impacting my loved ones?
  4. What do I want to give to the world this year?
  5. This year, how do I want to grow mentally? How do I want to grow spiritually? How do I want to grow physically? 
  6. How can I actively commitment to my most heartfelt desire(s)?
  7. What needs to happen in the next 6 months for me to obtain my goals? What needs to happen in the next 12 months? What needs to happen in the next 16 months?
  8. What is my first necessary action to make my life manifest in the direction I most desire? 
Once you are done answering the questions you can begin to build your manifestation collage.  Upon the completion of your collage, display it somewhere you can see it often and be reminded of the life you are trying to create for yourself and the world.
 
As the year unfolds, check in with your manifestation art and check-in to see if you are authentically crafting your most ideal life. Throughout the year, create some alone time. This time alone will allow you to reconnect with your most heartfelt desires. Notice if your desires change as you grow as a person. In addition, periodically answer the manifestation questions to see if you are actively participating with the goals you set out for yourself. If your direction in life changes as the year unfolds then see if you can approach those changes with acceptance, understanding, and trust, so that you can move forward in your life with dignity and grace.

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    Author

    I am a new mother who has her hands full! I juggle not just my coaching business, but I am also a full time educator. I also teach yoga in the Bay Area, and I mentor first generation college students.

    My joys and passions include: physical exercise, being with my family and our dog, being outdoors, listening to and dancing to music, eating ethnic food, and searching for and creating new fitness friendly recipes.

    It is my hope that these writings influence you in a positive way. 

    Please leave me comments, questions, or concerns. Your feedback helps me to discover new ways to communicate and grow as a coach.

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MS. B Fitness offers fitness-lifestyle coaching for women. Brenna Mora Rodriguez helps women gain and maintain lifelong fit and healthy bodies, through personal training services, books, guides, and inspiring, educational newsletter and blog articles. Website content copyright © MS. B Fitness Coaching. All rights reserved.
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