38 Years Young

Here I am, November 26, 2020, at 38 years young. I have made it not just through 8 months of a global pandemic and a crazy U.S. election year, but another year of my life. I need to catch my breath for a moment so I can just soak in this life story so far. If someone would have told me at 8-years-old this is who I’d be in life I would have believed only half of what they told me. Some parts of my life I reflect upon and shake my head in disbelief; both for the good and the bad. Other parts I see and think to myself: you manifested that girl. I would say my life has been part luck and part timing and the rest just hard, focused work. It definitely hasn’t been perfect or gone as planned, but my life to date is all mine. I made all my choices. I accept both my successes and lessons learned. Knowing that I have actively participated in all of my life's ebbs and flows with an open-mind allows me to rest easy at night. The pandemic has provided me lots of opportunity to reflect and practice gratitude. And in reflection, I have three things to share about living a life true to yourself, with confidence, that might resonate with you. If not, it will at least allow you to know me a bit better.

If I could tell my 20-something-year-old self some advice it would be to not compare yourself to others. Comparing your life to others only robs you of joy. Looking back, I did that a bit too much on and off throughout my life and man what a waste of time. As I have aged, I have realized no one has it perfect. Even if someone is filthy rich, trust me they don't have everything all figured out. Wealth might provide someone with more resources or access to certain opportunities, but it does not mean it guarantees someone happiness, good health, wisdom, the ability to have empathy, or the know how to offer kindness. Some of my biggest moments of feeling lost, insecure, uncertain, scared, or anxious was when I worried too much about how I compared to others or what others thought of my life. The day I walked away from that cycle of thinking and behaving was the day I got more free, confident, and happier.  The life each of us leads is ours and ours alone. Choices are hard to make, but we all make choices to the best of our ability. We all have a special timeline and it's a timeline that we will never fully know or understand, so just live present and fully to the best of your ability. 

This mantra helps me: Take the best possible care of you.

Let this gentle affirmation guide you to a happier self. 

One thing that I think is hard to overcome prior to our 30s is trusting our intuition fully. This part of self-understanding is messy and is best developed through copious amounts of trial and error. I have to say, at the end of the day, don't ignore those feelings or the inner dialogue. Trust me, just follow your heart and listen to yourself more. Seriously stop doubting that inner voice. She knows what’s up. If you get bad vibes, steer clear of the situation or person sooner than later. I like the saying by Maya Angelou:  “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” I listen to myself way more and what a difference it has made in my own self-confidence. I do make mistakes now and then, but each time I remind myself to do better next time. I never see my mistakes as failures; only lesson. 

This mantra helps me: I trust my intuition.

Let this brave affirmation support you in your journey toward deeper self-confidence.

Last bit of advice: always invest in yourself. ALWAYS. Never let money or the concept of time hold you back from self-improvement and personal growth. You are your life’s greatest adventure. Do not confuse this with selfishness or recklessness. I am talking about taking calculated risk(s) and to participate in continuous learning. A person cannot enhance a community or a family if they always stay the same and rigid. My mother often reminds me of the value of being like a Willow tree, as they are flexible and softer wood compared to Pine trees which are rigid and tough. Willows tend to survive storms better because of their flexibility; whereas Pine trees tend to break easily in storms because of their rigid nature. I think there is a lot of wisdom that can be gathered from sayings like that and by observing and listening in order to grow or make a next move. I say: continue learning always. Continue gaining new skills. Continue exploring curiosity. Continue evolving into your best version. Be determined in your approach to becoming your best self, but be flexible in your approach.

This mantra helps me: It is never too late and you are never too old.

Let this mantra inspire you to respond actively to your curiosities.

My friends, we all have one life to live. We just get this one shot. I say live it as true as you can. Love all that you have and be grateful for all that you receive. Take time to pause and bask in all that you’ve done, learned, and experienced. Say “I love you” often to others. Hug people. Kiss your loved ones. Hold hands with loved ones. Read more. Get out in nature more. Be you. That’s all you can be.